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Cassidy Hutchinson Appeared Before the Committee on January 6 Regarding Something She “Didn’t Witness,” According to Greg Gutfeld

A star witness who no one had ever heard of testified at the Jan. 6 hearing yesterday on something she had not seen, making her evidence just as reliable as Liz Warren’s smoke signals. So what’s the main idea? After the rally on January 6, President Donald Trump was then taken back to the White House.

He yelled for the automobile to stop so he could chow down on a sick dog by the side of the road. Yes, it was a Pekinese, which he then consumed with his bare, bloodied hands while dousing it in ketchup. In the backseat, Donald Jr. was giggling. She was informed of it, therefore, yeah.

During a public hearing of the U.S. House Select Committee to investigate the January 6 Attack on the U.S. Capitol, on Capitol Hill in Washington, U.S., on June 28, 2022, Cassidy Hutchinson, a former assistant to former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, demonstrates Trump’s actions inside the presidential limousine on January 6.

Actually, she was told that Donald Trump declared himself the King of Siam, stripped down, and typed out all of Shakespeare’s plays at random on a Smith Corona word processor he borrowed from his close friend and mentor Adolf Hitler, who isn’t actually dead but still resides in a shampoo bottle in Mar-a-Lago pool houses. This all happened on the way to the rally. Yes, perhaps that is a touch excessive.

Her claims, however, are much less credible. She alleges that she was informed that Trump tried to take the wheel away from a Secret Service agent. He lunged using the verb that was employed.

Yes, I lunged while holding my daiquiri approximately eight inches out of reach, as instructed by my personal trainer.

However, Trump reportedly climbed out of The Beast’s back window. Hillary Clinton with The Beast, the presidential limousine’s code moniker.

Screaming, “Screw the guns, let Jesus take the wheel,” he shuffled across the roof before sliding down into the car and grabbing the wheel. Sounds authentic, right? It’s a good thing we have a Republican there to keep everything legal. I kid.

However, it’s strange how Liz Cheney has transformed into the vengeful ex-wife that Donald Trump was unaware he had. She has transformed into a screech owl with the phoney calm of a Stepford wife. Do men not recall “The Stepford Wives”?

Nevertheless, the same folks who spent four years telling you that Trump was so out of shape and that he had one foot in the grave and the other on a package of mayo now want you to think that he can slither around a moving vehicle like Jackie Chan. Even still, the rumour was devoured by the media.

CNN: The president is in serious peril, not least because he attacked a member of his Secret Service.

MSNBC: At this point, I must admit that I cannot think of another instance in which a president attempted to physically obstruct his own motorcade.

CNN: To take hold of the wheel. I mean, to seize the Secret Service agent after such a reckless deed is dangerous. This is really beyond, I mean. Trump was the incorrect candidate for the position.

MSNBC: A lot of folks are going to remember that. The President of the United States recently attacked a Secret Service agent, you know.

Attacking! Since you know who, the media hasn’t been this enthralled with an incident. Jussie, you’ve returned. Naturally, if you wait it out like Jussie Smollett’s stinking tail, the story will fall apart like a cheese steak dumped into a hot pool. It was a cheese steak, I informed him.

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Oh my God, says EMILY COMPAGNO.

KRISTI NOEM, GOV. OF SOUTH DAKOTA: Oh my God.

Apologies, Governor.

SOUTH DAKOTA GOV. KRISTI NOEM (insert): Yeah.

First off, our very own David Spunt, which is the past tense of spat, confirms that, in the background, both of the men involved in this anecdote dispute the lunge.

But it’s not just us; NBC’s Peter Alexander also reports that a source close to the Secret Service says, “Both Bobby Engel, the lead agent, and the driver, are prepared to testify under oath that neither man was assaulted and that Mr Trump never lung The Secret Service would fight “any accusation of an attack” or “Trump grasping for the… wheel,” sources tell ABC’s, John Santucci. He also didn’t develop eight-foot rubber arms overnight like he did in The Fantastic Four.

On June 9, 2022, in Washington, DC, the House Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th hearing will take place.

On June 9, 2022, in Washington, DC, the House Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th hearing will take place.

The official who claimed that an agent gave Hutchinson this account did, indeed, deny it, CNN acknowledges. Even CNN, yes. In other words, if CNN goes away, the remaining 12 viewers go away with it. Although there is only one spectator, it uses the pronoun they.

More disagreement exists over Hutchinson’s assertions; perhaps it has to do with a note she claimed to have written but didn’t. We could delve into it, but Paul Pelosi has a more compelling driving tale.

Everything is hidden by overdone theatre, and not even good theatre like you see on Broadway, but rather community theatre, like a play in which your aunt Margaret, Margaret, plays the principal role. The hearing is therefore a joke.

It was a one-sided spectacle that called into question all of the evidence. Because of this, nobody watches it unless the media forces it onto them. They believed that an elaborately produced programme developed by an ABC producer, with unexpected cameos from people you had never heard of, would wow you. As a remake of “The Love Boat,” it was a failure. They are beyond hope, not even Charo’s testimony. I’m old.

How much of this guy do you really need to see, to be honest? He’s a handy moron, I suppose, a glutton for odd new esteem from his transient liberal friends, if I were to be cynical. He always seems to be on the verge of crying. What does Kinzinger actually mean in German? Karen?

He ought to keep his face when he gets a job driving Liz Cheney to MSNBC, you know. I know, poor Liz. a stalker with a deadly attraction level who simply cannot get enough of President Trump. I should probably hide the bunny, Donald. These references are so out of date. Mm. But the important thing is that I understand them.

The committee truly believed this to be a foregone conclusion. a staged trial replete with hearsay. Who would object? The press? Nope, they’re gulping it down like it’s baby water for AOC.

During the Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol, Chairman Bennie Thompson, a Democrat from Mississippi, gives a statement.

During the Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol, Chairman Bennie Thompson, a Democrat from Mississippi, gives a statement. (Image by Tom Williams courtesy of CQ-Roll Call, Inc.

It made me think of the game we used to play as kids when you sat in a circle and whispered something to the person next to you until it had gone all the way around the circle, by which time it had become completely different from what you had said at the beginning. Spin the Bottle, I believe it was called.

But hearsay is exactly that, and I’m not even claiming it’s untrue. Why even bother when the committee is unquestionably false? It’s the large red bow on the tainted package that you received from the same morons who produced hoaxes for six years. It prepared rumours and was saturated with professionally made propaganda. I’m actually always waiting for a director to yell, “Cut, let’s do that again with a little more feeling, Adam.”

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Additionally, it’s intended to divert your attention from the real issues—crime, inflation, immigration, and all the other significant areas where this administration has failed us. However, we can see right through it like a condom wrapped over a torch. I have no idea how I know. But the truth is that we are aware of Trump’s fury.

He gave me a wedgie when I switched his Diet Coke for Pepsi, and I can still clearly recall it. Never in my life have I experienced such a tremendous boost.

I’m overjoyed. The truth is that they planned a show trial but neglected to invite the show. Their sincerity is currently being tested. I would advise locking them up.

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